Combat knickers

2nd iPad pic

And test to see if you can blog from an iPad
I tell ya - I'm Cutting Edge me

Fridge of the Future - not on Ice!

We pay a visit to our old friend Professor Simon Sommerville in his underground laboratory in the Faculty of Food and Aeronautics at the University of Central Calrissian to check on the progress of his Fridge of the Future ‘Fridge 209’.

“We have had some teething problems” explained Colonel Sommerville “Fridge 209 tends to over stock itself with Chicken Dippers. As such its recipes and menu suggestions are fairly limited” Lord Sommerville went on to say “Fridge 209 sent me a text message late one night earlier this week. It was garbled and looked more like swear words than a temperature update but it does show that we have achieved some reasonable level of AI function. Bizarrely, the next morning, we found sixteen empty Stella Artois cans hidden in its salad drawer – Hiccups are to be expected with a project this ambitious”

We shall be returning to check on developments with Sir Simon and his Fridge of the Future in the coming months so ‘watch this column’.

Reporter – Catharine Scat-Harness

Apps are just modern day spokey-dokeys – discuss

Technology – Blimey Charlie!

He be my first go on one of them iPads

Had to do summut!

Tiny five minute number to keep me from going mad!

"Wall's have ears!"
- Intemediate Dada Joke No 108 (word-play deployed in vacinity of someone eating a sausage)

Stop gAp!

Arm not better - worse! Pain killers changed to help me float through the day!

nO pOsTing? What tHe fliBbin' eck's goIng oN?

Ive got a torn tricep! I have big pain killers and a sling! I feel like a dog with one of those silly cone collars!
Might try to dig out some old stuff as a stop gap

What big teeth you have Grandma

"How do you get to the end of sleep? Is it going to take ages?" - Harri Taylor 1/4/2011

No Posts

that cos ive been too ill - even too ill to draw this week!

So there!

Back. Sack and Crack Wax - it's Zombie Time!

Red and Green should never be seen!

It’s two for one on ‘EPIC’ Sci-Fi Guff!

Get um while their hot, two for one, I’m not making anything on these – just gotta get them shifted, you couldn’t ask for a better deal!

With foreground or without foreground?

I’ve never done a painting like this before so dunno!

Where’s my Mooney, he’d know what was de rigueur.

Dad -   “Red sky at night…….”

Child - “Sheppard’s delight”

Dad - “Red Sky in the morning……”

Child - “Shepherds warning”

Dad -   “Minced lamb, mashed potato and peas……..”

Child - ‘the face’

Advanced Dad Joke No40 (deployed on seeing a red sky or when having Sheppard’s or cottage pie meal)

The MooN, muShroOms aNd a tree

Some old country saying I found and a tree!

What's the deal with these crazy racer things?

I honestly don't know!

"Never use a mouse to create your 2D artwork, always use a graphics tablet or scan".

- says me constantly.

This was done with just a mouse.

What a hypocrite!

A-nuver Fast Fing!

wiv more straight lines for Pete

It's like a fast thing of the future
like a Saxo in 2035?
Sort of
Would it have neon sill lighting?
Get Lost!

Bog off - Again! More Randoms!

I'm not sure what this is but it looks jolly fast!

Cheep Sheep Bandit!

Some iPhone paintings wot i did on my iPhone that I did;

"Has one of the Queens Corgi's died?"
 ....wait for 'the face'
"It's just that your trousers are at half mast!"

- Intermediate Dad Joke No 90 (deployed when child has grown out of clothes)

PigWam!

Lean back?



Beetroot Head

"If your nose runs and your feet smell - you may be upside down!"
- Begginer Dad Joke No 114



Painted on iPhone using 'colors'

Panda Fags!

Barry has more than one hotdog costume.

Theoretical Bottomley Ninja Sea Rabbits!

So Bottomley is having his 3rd interview at Ninja Theory today! *Whoop*! Everything is crossed for him. Even me eyes!

Good luck Matey.

"Yes - you're very trying!"

- Beginner Dad Joke no 44 (reply to; "I'm trying Dad")

Spewmy Jack!

Capt. Spewmy Jack of the Giddy Kipper.
Expert Oarsman, Navigator and Foghonker player!

















Foghonker advert (copyright BBC3)

Giddy Kipper!

Art tests for the 'Kipper' from Spewmy Tales

"I'm Egg-stattic!"
- Basic Dad Joke 23/7 (see section 23 - 'Eggy Japes')

Enough with the dad jokes - give it a rest...

No

The question I'm asked over and over is; "So what's the deal with all the Dad Jokes then?"

Well I'll tell you;

I was asked the other day to explain a Dad Joke! You know who you are. Pete! - What is the world coming to when a young man does not understand this basic form of language? It cannot be allowed to die out. It is too important. It is an oral tradition passed from father to son that has been practiced for centuries. It is a fathers given rite to be able to inflict this specialist humor on his children. They, in turn, will find that there comes a time in their lives when they will look down at a tiny little face and without realizing, utter their first Dad Joke. It will feel natural. Comfortable. Right.

With a handful of exceptions, women it seems are unable to carry a Dad Joke into adulthood and successfully deploy it at the appropriate moment. Fact! A bit like only a handful of men can multitask.

There is however, a more mysterious side to the Dad Joke. In 1948 on an expedition to explore a remote unnamed island of Indonesia, Major William Hurt stumbled across an ancient abandoned temple. Inside he found a book; 'The Grand GrimPa' or 'The Book of the Dad'. Written in it's pages, in brown sauce, is every Dad Joke ever uttered, even those Dad Lines that were thought about just too long after their deployment window to be used - the 'if only I'd said' gems. As new Dad Jokes are created or old ones modified, they mysteriously appear in brown sauce script on its pages.

The Major transported the book from the remote island so that he could thoroughly study its contents. He made for the capital of Indonesia; Batavia, later to be renamed Jakarta. His wife, who came of her own accord, found him in his rented lodgings, dead. He was slumped over the book soaked in his own laughter tears.

The book was shipped to England where exhaustive tests were carried out. The book was found to be safe so long as any father reading its pearls, studied it for no longer than an hour at a time taking breaks of no less than one week between sessions. This would be just enough to induce a light headedness and the feeling of being ‘a bit giddy'. When tested on women, they barely lasted two minutes as they "had more important things to do" apparently!

The book was deemed too dangerous to let fall into the wrong hands, not because of the risk to individuals studying its text, but due to the fact that it contained a section toward the back of the book dedicated to Dad Dancing! An Individual or Organisation that had access to an infinite number of Dad 'Shapes' would be catastrophic and could possibly change the face of modern warfare. For this reason the book is secured under constant guard in a secret location just outside Tamworth, UK.

This post is dedicated to Pete. Learning now aren’t you monkeychops?

Right – how do you upload a new Wikipedeia entry?

Get Back Grandma – This Technology will make your Ankles Swell!

Once upon a lifetime, I worked at a company based in Nottingham called Charybdis Ltd. We worked on a game called Machines – Wired for War published by Acclaim. I am still proud of that title. It was a really good game.

Anyway, the other day I came across some old print outs of some of the thousands of concepts I did for it.

So I had to spend a lot of today in hospital having an old war wound in my leg prodded and poked and I took my baby laptop to keep me company. So I did a couple of ‘memory lane’ paintings to stave off having to talk to deaf, ill, old Dears whilst sat in waiting rooms.

The paintings aren’t particularly any good and are a bit ‘boys & guns’ but I don’t really give a monkeys – I did them in hospital waiting rooms and I enjoyed doing them (mainly the backgrounds) - so there! The laptop kept the wrinklies at bay like a treat.

Thinking back, I ended up in hospital whilst working on the Machines game -Twice!

“His chips must be getting cold!”

- Intermediate Dad Joke No 3 (deployed on hearing emergency vehicle siren)