Friday, 25 February 2011

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Theoretical Bottomley Ninja Sea Rabbits!

So Bottomley is having his 3rd interview at Ninja Theory today! *Whoop*! Everything is crossed for him. Even me eyes!

Good luck Matey.

"Yes - you're very trying!"
- Beginner Dad Joke no 44 (reply to; "I'm trying Dad")

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Spewmy Jack!

Capt. Spewmy Jack of the Giddy Kipper.
Expert Oarsman, Navigator and Foghonker player!

Foghonker advert (copyright BBC3)

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Giddy Kipper!

Art tests for the 'Kipper' from Spewmy Tales

"I'm Egg-stattic!"
- Basic Dad Joke 23/7 (see section 23 - 'Eggy Japes')

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Enough with the dad jokes - give it a rest...


The question I'm asked over and over is; "So what's the deal with all the Dad Jokes then?"

Well I'll tell you;

I was asked the other day to explain a Dad Joke! You know who you are. Pete! - What is the world coming to when a young man does not understand this basic form of language? It cannot be allowed to die out. It is too important. It is an oral tradition passed from father to son that has been practiced for centuries. It is a fathers given rite to be able to inflict this specialist humor on his children. They, in turn, will find that there comes a time in their lives when they will look down at a tiny little face and without realizing, utter their first Dad Joke. It will feel natural. Comfortable. Right.
With a handful of exceptions, women it seems are unable to carry a Dad Joke into adulthood and successfully deploy it at the appropriate moment. Fact! A bit like only a handful of men can multitask.
There is however, a more mysterious side to the Dad Joke. In 1948 on an expedition to explore a remote unnamed island of Indonesia, Major William Hurt stumbled across an ancient abandoned temple. Inside he found a book; 'The Grand GrimPa' or 'The Book of the Dad'. Written in it's pages, in brown sauce, is every Dad Joke ever uttered, even those Dad Lines that were thought about just too long after their deployment window to be used - the 'if only I'd said' gems. As new Dad Jokes are created or old ones modified, they mysteriously appear in brown sauce script on its pages.
The Major transported the book from the remote island so that he could thoroughly study its contents. He made for the capital of Indonesia; Batavia, later to be renamed Jakarta. His wife, who came of her own accord, found him in his rented lodgings, dead. He was slumped over the book soaked in his own laughter tears.
The book was shipped to England where exhaustive tests were carried out. The book was found to be safe so long as any father reading its pearls, studied it for no longer than an hour at a time taking breaks of no less than one week between sessions. This would be just enough to induce a light headedness and the feeling of being ‘a bit giddy'. When tested on women, they barely lasted two minutes as they "had more important things to do" apparently!
The book was deemed too dangerous to let fall into the wrong hands, not because of the risk to individuals studying its text, but due to the fact that it contained a section toward the back of the book dedicated to Dad Dancing! An Individual or Organisation that had access to an infinite number of Dad 'Shapes' would be catastrophic and could possibly change the face of modern warfare. For this reason the book is secured under constant guard in a secret location just outside Tamworth, UK.

This post is dedicated to Pete. Learning now aren’t you monkeychops?

Right – how do you upload a new Wikipedeia entry?

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Get Back Grandma – This Technology will make your Ankles Swell!

Once upon a lifetime, I worked at a company based in Nottingham called Charybdis Ltd. We worked on a game called Machines – Wired for War published by Acclaim. I am still proud of that title. It was a really good game.
Anyway, the other day I came across some old print outs of some of the thousands of concepts I did for it.

So I had to spend a lot of today in hospital having an old war wound in my leg prodded and poked and I took my baby laptop to keep me company. So I did a couple of ‘memory lane’ paintings to stave off having to talk to deaf, ill, old Dears whilst sat in waiting rooms.

The paintings aren’t particularly any good and are a bit ‘boys & guns’ but I don’t really give a monkeys – I did them in hospital waiting rooms and I enjoyed doing them (mainly the backgrounds) - so there! The laptop kept the wrinklies at bay like a treat.
Thinking back, I ended up in hospital whilst working on the Machines game -Twice!

“His chips must be getting cold!”
- Intermediate Dad Joke No 3 (deployed on hearing emergency vehicle siren)

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Howl's moving Shed!

Every mans dream.
A quick painting for Burley.

"Carpet Frog!"
- Intermediate Dad Joke No 8 (Exclamation given immediately after a trump whilst walking)

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Random Scribbles from the last Day or So


'Dont eat with your mouth full'
 - Beginner Dad Joke No 5 (deliberate misquote)

Friday, 4 February 2011

Bottoms Up!

The MA Finalist results have been publically posted!
Well done gang.
"Have you had your ears lowered?"
- Intermediate Dad Joke No 22 (three legitimate uses per haircut)

Thursday, 3 February 2011



I recently did a live ‘painting technique demo thingy’ for a couple of students. It was a success in terms of getting the technique across but the painting I did was ‘pants’ – YA GOTTA KEEP YA HAND IN IF YA DON’T WANNA LOOK LIKE A TART!
To rectify my feeling of disappointment, that evening I felt the need to digitally set fire to stuff. Below are a couple of the results;

Wednesday, 2 February 2011


MA update;
Kaile and Thornton employed full time at Warner Bros - TT- Fusion. Joe and Ben had interviews there on Tuesday – they went well. Pete invited for an interview today at Ninja Theory – good luck mate. Scott doing the business at Uni with a possible contract at TT-Fusion in the pipeline. Katie got full time employment at TT-Games starting this week – and she’s only just started her semester 2. Harry and Dan (also semester 2) continuing their great work with ‘Flash Bang Science’.
So far that’s pretty good – well done gang.

I take full credit for everything as usual!

“No but I think he heard us!”
- Basic Dad Joke No 17 (requires specific opportunity)